Now

If you ever think to ask, 'Vivian, what are you doing now?', this is where you will find my answer. This page is inspired by Derek Sivers, whose intentional decisions I find extremely moving.

As for me, I am...

Waking up at 4.30am

I have come to accept that the only way I will ever have some alone time is if I go to sleep early and wake up early. Unless I am held hostage by my night owl boyfriend, you will find me in bed with my kid at 7.30pm. That way, I can afford to do almost all the things that I need to do for my sanity's sake in the morning and not feel like a zombie throughout the day. Things like meditation, shower, a cup of coffee, read a book, journal, etc. Before having to make lunchboxes, before leaving the house.

Studying

So I am a student again! I started in summer 2023. All my classes are in Danish. I am studying Danish (literature), social studies, biology, psychology, math and film. The hardest part, which is acclimatising to the language, is fortunately over. I enjoy studying, and am good at it, but sometimes it can feel like I am just jogging in a hamster wheel.

Struck by the meaninglessness of life

(...) I am finally at a place where I have everything that I possibly want and need. Love, self-trust, health, productivity, boundaries, energy, enough money, friends... Everything is as good as it can be. But what is the point? What is the point of living? Am I experiencing existential nihilism? Maybe. But right now, life seems to be a bunch of grocery trips, and then we die.

Well, yeah. Sorry. Welcome to my life. I hope you'll stay?

My homebase.

Updated December 5th, 2023, from Fyn, Denmark.