Now

If you ever think to ask, 'Vivian, what are you doing now?', this is where you will find my answer. This page is inspired by Derek Sivers, whose intentional decisions I find extremely moving.

As for me, I am...

Being creative, spontaneous and open

I feel as though I have cracked the code to everything that I need in order to exist peacefully in this world. I never leave the house without my journal, my little palm-sized sketchpad, a few fine line markers with tips in varying thickness, a good book that I am excited to read that day, plus a handful of highlighters in different colours and my water bottle. This set up allows me the options to enjoy my day no matter where I am at or who I am with. It's beautiful.

Advocating for my wants and needs

It has been a long time coming, but I believe that my body has finally internalised the truth that it is not selfish of me to take care of myself. It is not selfish to take time for myself, even if and especially because I am a single mom. It took me quite a while to accept that it is okay to feel out of control sometimes. And that feeling out of control does not equate to any real danger at all. 

I hate to sound like one of those hocus pocus social media gurus, but I have learnt that it is okay to let go of our deeply embedded lifelong programming, that our worth as human beings is solely based on how productive we are at our jobs or how much money we make. It felt absolutely terrifying unboxing these concepts about the political structures we live under, but my life began on the other side of fear.

Enjoying both solitude and socialising

So I met someone. Through a really good friend of mine. Pure serendipity. I had convinced myself that I would enjoy my life much more as a single person. You see, I have always been more of a lone ranger, who would rather get lost in a good book as compared to spending time at a bar for no good reason at all. It surprised me to find out in the recent weeks, just how much I actually enjoy meeting new people, listening to them and asking questions. I was caught unawares by the degree of curiosity I have for people. 

This new person that I met and fell in love with is extremely gregarious. I like that. He pushes me out of my comfort zone, in a healthy, supportive and necessary way. I have always identified deeply as an introvert because of my need to be alone, but being with Tony makes me wonder if I might be an ambivert instead. Who knows? There is no doubt that he loves me for the wild, eccentric person that I am. It's only the beginning but I already know that we have is worth treasuring.

My homebase.

Updated May 30th, 2024, from Fyn, Denmark.