Me, a YouTuber?

Hello there, 

I have some footage from after Helge passed away, but they are kind of all over the place. I still decided to put them into this vlog (now private) because you can see how much Hannah has grown over the past few months. A way of marking time, if you will. In this vlog I did something that I never thought I would do: I spoke to the camera!

I rarely touch the TV remote controller, so it is surprising to me that I spent a couple of afternoons on the couch this week watching Elise Buch's vlogs. Bjarne even made popcorn on one occasion! We live in Denmark and Elise is a young Dane who owns a bohemian clothing shop in Odense. When Hannah and I take the bus into Odense, I always look at her boutique front, debating with myself if I should alight at the next stop and check it out. But I never did, because I feel shy.

Watching Elise's vlogs make me feel like I could vlog my life too. My life is interesting! (To me, haha.) But when I thought about it, when I really thought about making vlogging into a career, I felt suffocated. I can't imagine constantly asking Hannah to wait for my attention, because I 'have to' film something for the viewers. It is not worth it.

I first started making vlogs because it was fun. Nobody really watched them, I guess, apart from Helge, my family and a few friends in Singapore. But I am now extremely grateful having made them, because Helge left us so suddenly. All I have left to remember him by are these videos. I can go back and listen to his voice and watch him eat ice cream. In that regard, I am so grateful for technology. (The continuation of the vlogs also show how much weight I have lost since we first came to Denmark!) 

As for the reasons why I can never be a YouTuber: 

1. I hate keeping an archive of my old footage. I delete everything once I upload it 😅
2. Editing vlogs can be fun, but writing gives me much more satisfaction - just look what I am doing now!
3. I hate ads. I wish that there was another way to make money, because I believe that advertisements are an invention of the devil 😣 
4. Like I mentioned before, I don't want to trade those little precious, priceless moments with Hannah and Bjarne for anything else. I don't want to constantly have the thought, 'Oh, this makes for a good video'. That life is simply not for me.

That said, I do have some fun video ideas. And I want to continue speaking to the camera. It's a skill that I would like to hone, alongside writing and meditation. Who knows where those skills would take me ten years from now, am I right? It will be nice to look back on this post then. I shall do that, because I have promised myself to never delete this blog. My forever blog. I just hope that Blogger doesn't shut down its servers!

Alright, I hope that you enjoy this little reflection. Have a lovely weekend!

Be gentle with yourself.

💗 -Vivian