A breath of snowy, existential nihilism

Hola.

I have never seen so much snow in my life. I’ve been in Denmark for more than three years now and sure, I have seen snow before, but not like this. It is completely white when I look out the windows. We all know that it won't last, because very soon it will be 1 or 2 degrees Celsius and the snow will begin to melt. But I sure hope that we get a white Christmas. That would be something.

Here’s a photo dump of the last two weeks, although I don’t have any pictures of our cosy playdate with Andy, Alice and 4-year-old Winnie, where I made Korean vegetable pancakes (and store-bought smoked mackerel) for everyone. 

I notice that I am really forming some friendships in the hood, instead of just magnetising myself to my boyfriend. I'm quite proud of myself for that. Getting my emotional needs met by different people, that is important, no?

My photos are in a bit of a haphazard order, but it doesn't really matter to me. Hope that you enjoy them nonetheless. I captioned most of them so that there is some context.

My cosy HQ.

My neighbour's cat, Kitty, who likes to come over sometimes.

So much snow!

The boyfriend's apartment building. He lives at the top floor, so whenever I ring the doorbell, I'd look up and he'd open the window to see if it's me. Quite sweet.

Winter is my favourite season.

Snow at my school. Lovely.

On the way to pick my girl up from kindergarten.

 

My other neighbour, Louise, wrote a little letter (from Santa, of course) and packed little everyday presents (candy inside) for Hannah. Such a sweet lady.

This was how Louise's present hung on our door handle. Sweetness! 

"Dear Hannah, my name is Julius Elf..."

Hannah happily open her first julekalender gave.

We've been doing a couple of weekend sleepovers at Marcus' lately. This was one of our Sunday brekkies.

A photo at the dentist, when Hannah had a routine check up.

I haven't been exercising so much recently, because of time constraints but also because of body aches. Not fun...

Hannah is growing up so fast!!!

My neighbour Louise invited us over yesterday to watch Julekalender on TV together. It was sooooo nice. We're doing that again tonight.

Campfire at Hannah's kindergarten, when we had an event last week.

More snow.

Much-needed journaling session at the local library, before I had to pick my kid up.

View from Marcus' place this previous weekend.

Very interesting experience, seeing my bike covered in snow.

My little cutey.

Us at a burger place for dinner.

Happy kid, outside our home.

Us at the art museum (kids exhibition).

Before the snow. (Omg, I can't even remember the green now!)

"Khaki!"

"Okonomiyaki!"

"Khaki!"

Before the snow.

The dentist said Hannah's 20 strong teeth were 'perfect'. Yay.

Yeah, Kitty comes by pretty often. Hannah loves Kitty around, because it is so calm and gentle. Kitty likes me very much (wink).

"Khaki!", again!

Movie night with my babe. I requested chips. We watched Uncut Gems with Adam Sandler in it. Very good film.

My school has this thing where they give out free food to prevent food waste. I've been getting tons of fruits and vegetables from them.

My new fridge.

I have finally got around to updating my 'Now' page. Here is an excerpt:

"(...) I am finally at a place where I have everything that I possibly want and need. Love, self-trust, health, productivity, boundaries, energy, enough money, friends... Everything is as good as it can be. 

But what is the point? What is the point of living? Am I experiencing existential nihilism? Maybe. But right now, life seems to be a bunch of grocery trips, and then we die.

Well, yeah. Sorry. Welcome to my life. I hope you'll stay?"

Today and yesterday especially, I feel like I am experiencing a heavy dose of existential dread. I don't know. It just feels like I am delivering all these great work in class, only to have to live up to my reputation of being good at delivering high-quality work... and then it's just rinse and repeat. Fucking hamster wheel never stops.

I guess that is the good thing with writing a blog. I'm already curious to know what my next post is going to be about. Will this feeling of dread go away? Or will it only grow? Hmm... Anyway. Time will tell.

Until next time, take care.
Vivian